Ro Gorell

How to Survive and Thrive in your Job Without Losing Your Integrity
Over the weekend I watched one of those 'girlie' flicks about a weather girl. The crux of the story: would she give up being who she was to earn lots of money and fame? Or, would she go back to waiting on tables and stay with her true friends and the man she loved? I am sure you can guess the ending!
She allowed her integrity to give her the answer.

One thing I've spotted through my coaching experience is that eventually clients discover that they have to explore their values and beliefs to really understand who they are. An easy way of explaining this is to say that values are the things that motivate our behaviour and beliefs are the rules by which we live our lives.

So What do You Value?
Thriving in work depends on how aligned you are with your values. Have you accepted someone else's view of what you should be striving for because it's what is expected? Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? Or do you compromise on what you really want and who you really are?

Now don't get me wrong, compromise can be a great way of resolving problems, but at some stage there will be one thing that tests your boundaries and makes you stand up and be counted. So, let's explore your boundaries.


Ask yourself these questions:

• What really motivates you?
• What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning?
• What do you really enjoy doing that seems effortless and natural?
• What are you willing to give time to?
• What qualities have people noticed in you?
• What makes you see red?

Getting clear on who you are enables you to understand what you stand for and what others can expect from you.

In what way might our beliefs support us or not?

The next step is to discover beliefs that stem from your values. Some of those beliefs are positive and some not so. Here's an exercise I sometimes ask my clients to complete to understand what might be getting in the way of them thriving:

Step 1
Using two pieces of paper make a list on one piece of paper of all the positive beliefs you hold about yourself. On the second piece of paper list all the negative beliefs you hold about yourself.

Step 2
Look at the positive beliefs and spend a few moments on each one. Remember the positive things that happened to lead you to hold these positive beliefs. Write them down. These are your resources to draw on to help you thrive.

Step 3
Look at your negative beliefs. Take the top three. Ask yourself:
1. Where did this belief come from?
2. Who gave me this belief?
3. How do I feel about the 'person' that gave me this belief? Do I respect them? Are/were they always
right? What is their history?
4. What is this belief costing me on a daily basis?
5. What will holding this belief mean for me in the long term?
6. How will my life be different if I let go of this belief?

Step 4
Write the opposite belief to the negative one you hold. For example, if your belief is:

"I am too old to learn/do XYZ" You could reframe to:
"Now is the perfect age to learn/do XYZ and I bring to this my wealth of experience to date"

Make the new beliefs positive and realistic - test that they sit well with your values and will motivate you.

Actively look for evidence to support your new beliefs. You will find it. Keep a journal and record your success, learning and insights.

How Will you Know?
The next time you have to make a tough decision see if you balance it against your values and positive beliefs? Listen to the dialogue you're running in your mind - the little voice we all have that keeps us on the straight and narrow.

When we remain true to who we are and act with integrity and authenticity the choices we make will be right. Values, beliefs and clarity on what we are willing to compromise and the non-negotiable are the foundations to thrive and survive in a job and stay true to who we are.