Ro Gorell

What Do We Get As A Reward?

One of the many benefits clients tell me they experience from coaching is the opportunity to talk through and have someone listen attentively to their progress - both what's going well and not so well.

Clients really appreciate the time to think about things and take stock. Sometimes when we take action and get great results we don't always feel like we've achieved anything. We look for the gold star to validate our success and make us feel good.


And yet, as a coach I am equally interested in what happens to clients when they don't get the success they anticipate from their actions. For me as a coach, that's a great opportunity to learn. And it can sometimes mean that the client's commitment to the outcome or the goal is not what they first thought.

Regardless of the outcome for any action taken, the client always deserves a gold star (or box of chocolates!) simply because they will already have learnt something from the experience of taking action.

Over the next series of Ascent2Change Updates I'll talk you through what happens in a coaching session. So let's start with what happens at the beginning of most coaching sessions.

Reviewing What's Happened Since The Last Session

In some sessions the question - "So what's been better since the last session" is a great way of positively framing the session. That way your client can build on their positive experiences and be free to talk about learning from the not so positive stuff.

During the review phase we'll explore the journey the client has experienced - in other words the learning process. Typcial questions might be:

• What are your results so far?
• What have you learned?
• How could you have done this more effectively?
• What can you learn from this?
• With the benefits of hindsight, what's the biggest thing you would have done differently?
• How have you learned the skills/insights that you now have?
• How will you capture what you have learned from the action you took, so that the skills, ideas and strategies are totally available to you whenever you need them?
• How will you put these into practise in other areas of your life?
• How do you feel (about what you've learned/the experience you've had)?

If they haven't taken the action they committed to at the last session:

• What could/might be stopping you from taking action

By exploring the answers to these questions your client can unlock insights and learning which can be used as a resource for taking action in the future.

There is no failure only feedback

There is no right or wrong when it comes to results; reviewing the learning with your client in this way enables them to understand that results are merely a way of telling and showing them if their actions will move them closer or further away from their outcome.

Supporting your client as they go through the learning process is absolutely essential because this is where the change starts to happen - learning which strategies are working and which aren't. Therefore, encouraging and recognising your client's learning is almost more important than the results they get. After all, if you only support your client when they get positive results you are denying them the opportunity to experience valuable learning from less than positive results.

So, you deserve a gold star for taking action, showing commitment to your outcome and being willing to learn.