How I Remembered That Change Is Personal

Change is Personal

Last month I changed my car. Why am I telling you this? Well, as you know I specialise in behaviour change and have experienced a lot of change in organisations and seen and heard first hand how it can affect people.

So you’d think that I would know how people process change and what might happen as they transition through the process. Well, even with all my knowledge and experience it was only when I made the decision to change my car – a mazda RX8 - that I realised how emotionally attached I was. I know, emotional attachment to a car sounds bizarre.

What’s Important To Me?

It all started back in January this year when I was reminded of a technique to elicit clients’ values. I watched as the process was demonstrated on a willing volunteer. As they went through the process I started to think about what I value in a car – and more importantly why I value my car.


My Mazda was quirky – the back doors opened the other way to normal, it was an unusual shape, the lights were like eyes, and it had a potential speed of 140mph (I drove it on a track day at high speed !). In short, my car was an extension of my personality: quirky, energetic and adventurous. I sometimes joked that if I ever needed money the car would be the last thing I would sell (apologies to my husband and cat!).

On the downside it drank petrol which when I bought it wasn’t so bad – around 90p a litre. But with petrol prices well beyond the pound a litre limit and still rising I knew that the day was coming soon when I would have to say goodbye to my Maz!

What Triggered The Change?

Mid January my road fund licence was due and then I had to have the car serviced. Being a few hundred quid lighter I decided that now was the time to change! Armed with last year’s valuation in mind I went to see the sales man and asked him for a price. Thud! My expectations were dashed and then crushed – the car had lost £3k in the last year and was depreciating at an alarming rate.

Now I’m not the sort of person who cries easily – but when I heard the price the salesman was willing to give me I really had to fight back the tears. Biting my lip I asked to test drive another car to see what it was like. I was now really worried about whether I could actually afford to change my car after all.

Processing Time – Emotional Responses Kicked In

Leaving the show room that Friday night my heart felt heavy and I was in denial. “Surely he had got it wrong – my car must be worth more than that?” I was angry and upset – it was as if he’d insulted me personally.

I didn’t sleep much that night and got up at 5.45am on the Saturday morning to surf the web to back up my beliefs about my car. Glass’s guide confirmed the price I’d been given was in range. Shock! Horror!

By mid-morning on the Saturday my solutions brain had kicked in and I was on the phone trying to get hold of a friend who owned the same type of car I’d test driven the night before.

It was Sunday afternoon when I eventually got hold of her. I wanted to know how long she’d had the car, what she thought about it, how well it was running and so on. I wanted to know everything if I was going to get rid of my beautiful Maz. Would this new car be good enough?

Imagining a Different Future

As I put the phone down I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to be without Maz. She’d recommended the garage where she’d got her car I resolved to call them on the Monday.

By Tuesday morning I was sat opposite another salesman at the garage recommended by my friend. I’d explained to him my story and how upset I was that Maz had been so mistreated. He was sympathetic and went off to get a valuation on my car. It seemed hours later when he returned but I suspect it was only about 10 minutes.

“Well, I can tell you that we think your car is worth more than what you’ve been offered.” Within 30 minutes he’d talked me through the buying and financing process and I was pretty much sold. I just needed to go away and think it through now that I’d heard all the facts.

Taking the First Brave Step to a New World!

By the Wednesday I’d ordered my new car and mentally started the process of letting go of my little Maz.

I realise now that I was going through the transition process of change. At a subconscious level my old car represented my old life when I worked in corporate. I thought that I’d made the transition a long time ago when I set up Ascent2Change in 2005 – but I realise that I was still holding onto something.

My new car is cute, fun and cool (according to my nephew!) and represents a different part of my life now. It’s also more environmentally friendly, costs nothing in road fund licence and has a roof that lets you run the breeze as you’re driving along. It’s exciting and new and the blue sky colour represents my creative, big picture perspective on life.

Being A Different Me

I’ve now made the transition and moved into a different phase. It’s taken a long time and I didn’t even know that it was taking time!

So when you are working with change in any setting whether it’s at home or work remember that we all process change in different ways and in different time frames; often without being consciously aware of it.

Change is a process of transition. It’s not like having an on and off switch and cannot be ticked off a list like a task – I found that out recently in a way I wasn’t expecting.

We experience change every day of our lives; we’re just not always aware of it. So if you’re involved in ‘implementing’ change in an organisation, remember that your working with human beings and we all process change in different ways.